Honey, I'm Home
by Laugh Like You Aren't Breaking
Summary: "They say if you love something, let it go. If it comes back, it's yours forever. If not, it was never yours to begin with." Freddie let Sam go, and she came back. Sorta. Throw a 16 year-old daughter and nostalgia in, and... Seddie tale! Sorta.
1. Prologue

_A/N: I wrote this a while ago, and it's just been sitting in my documents, waiting to be posted. So I'm posting it! Yay! It's probably going to be a short multi-chapter fic. Anyways, don't kill me over the accident scene, because I've never called 911. I don't know, nor do I honestly want to find out, what happens when you call... And I know that the whole Sam-ran-away-thing has been done a lot, but I thought I'd do one too, and throw a daughter and a whole bunch of things you guys don't know about yet into the mix just because I love to complicate things :) Enjoy! _

_Oh, and the ice cream thing is something that always happens between me and my sis :) She likes chocolate and I adore vanilla, but we split the strawberry cause we both love it :)_

_Disclaimer: Yeah, fine, I don't own iCarly. Nor do I own "Just Like Heaven", which I sorta took the accident scene from. You'll see why I'm including "Just Like Heaven" in the disclaimer in the next chapter. If you've ever seen it, don't spoil for those who haven't!_

"I swear to God, Sadie, you're a bottomless pit," Freddie chuckled as his sixteen year-old daughter cleared her plate. Beaming at her father, Sadie grabbed their carton of Neapolitan ice cream out of the freezer. She served herself a bowl, only chocolate and strawberry because vanilla was disgusting. Freddie smiled as she served him a bowl of vanilla. Sadie always took all the chocolate and strawberry, just like her mother. But that was alright, because Freddie loved vanilla.

"Just like my mother what?" Sadie asked, sliding back into her chair. Freddie frowned, not realizing that he had spoken the words aloud.

"She always stole our chocolate and strawberry ice cream, and she could eat more than a pack of wolves," Freddie replied. "Just like you."

Sadie frowned for a moment."What's wrong?" Freddie asked.

"How come you never talk about Mom?" she replied.

He didn't have an answer for that one. At least, not one Sadie would want to hear. "I still love her," he said defensively.

"I never implied that you didn't," Sadie told him, incredulous. "What would make you think that?"

Freddie sighed. He'd known that this question would come up eventually. "What do you want to know, Sadie?"

"What was her name?"

"Samantha Benson," he answered, the name feeling odd on his tongue. Legally, Sam was still his wife, but when he thought about it, she hadn't been around to be Sam Benson in a long time. "But she'd kill anyone who called her that."

"What about her maiden name?" Sadie asked.

"Puckett," he replied.

"Tell me about her."

"She was the most amazing woman I've ever met," Freddie began. "She wasn't exactly most other guys' idea of a dream woman, but I loved her with all my heart. You look just like her, too."

Sadie's next question was one that he'd never even known himself. "What happened to her?"

Freddie sighed. "I don't know, Sadie."

Sadie threw her father a dirty look. "Yeah, right. Don't lie to me, Dad. You don't just not know what happens to your wife."

"She ran away," he whispered.

Sadie frowned. "How does someone just run away from their husband and daughter?"

"Sam wasn't just any someone," Freddie replied. "But I really don't know, Sadie."

"Well then," Sadie said. "We're going to have to find out, aren't we?"

"It's been fifteen years, Sadie," he told his daughter. "I don't think we're going to find her."

"She's my mom. We're going to find her." And thus a plan was born, in a quaint little house at 4 Main Avenue.

Unbeknownst to Freddie and their daughter, Sam was there in Seattle that night, driving to go visit Carly. She had made Carly ankle-swear not to tell Freddie and Sadie, claiming that it was "for the best", but she had kept in touch with Carly those fifteen years, visiting her every few months. Carly had letters that she had been instructed to give Freddie and Sadie if anything ever happened to Sam. Not that it would. But it did.

The driver was drunk; a truck driver who was going through a tough time after his wife left him because he was never home. He swerved into Sam's lane, across the busy street. There was no way he could've stopped if he'd even realized what he was doing.

The last thing Sam saw before the sickening crunch of bone against metal was a little door with a light and a number: 4 Main Avenue.

_(A/N: Originally I was going to stop the chapter here, but it seemed too short, so I'm continuing!)_

"Dad?" Sadie said, running into her father's room.

"What? Sadie, are you okay? What's wrong?" Freddie asked, panicking. "Calm down, Sadie, you look like you've seen a ghost. Calm down and explain what's wrong."

"Well," Sadie began. "I was brushing my teeth when this car, a small hybrid or something like that, drove past. And there was this truck coming the other way, and it was swerving all over the road, and it hit the car, head on. It was a really big truck, Dad!"

Freddie sprang out of bed, running out the door with Sadie close on his heels. By the time he got out there, their neighbors were on the sidewalk, freezing as they waited for an ambulance to show up.

"Did anyone see who was inside the car?"

"That was an awful accident!"

"I hope the driver of the car is okay!"

"The truck driver looked drunk; he was swerving all over the road."

These were just some of the things Freddie heard his neighbors saying.

"Has anyone called 911?" He asked. Everyone's eyes widened as they realized that they hadn't. Sighing, Freddie dialed the emergency number on his cell.

"_This is the Seattle Emergency Service, my name is Samantha. How may I help you?" _a cheery voice answered. Freddie's heart twisted at hearing the name Samantha again.

"I'm calling to report an accident outside my house on 4 Main Avenue. My daughter witnessed a truck collide head-on with a small hybrid. The truck driver is fine, but my daughter believes that he was drunk. No one can see inside the hybrid right now, but there's no response if anyone tries to talk to whoever is in the car," Freddie replied.

"_Oh my," _Samantha said. _"That sounds bad. I'm sending an ambulance over right now, but until then I need you to stay on the phone with me, and we'll see if there's anything you can do in the meantime."_

"I'm an ER doctor at Seattle Memorial Hospital," Freddie cut in. "I just don't have the right supplies to reach the driver and remove them safely from the car."

"_Well, that's good that you're a doctor, at least. Do you know the identity of the driver?"_

"No idea," Freddie responded. "My daughter saw the accident from her window."

"_Okay_," Samantha said calmly. _"I don't know that there's anything you can do at this moment, just see if you can see the driver."_

Freddie sidestepped the growing crowd as he neared the small car. "I think it's a woman," he told Samantha. "She looks like she has light brown hair. I don't think she's conscious."

"_That's never good… Are the paramedics there yet?_" she asked as the ambulance pulled up.

"Just got here," Freddie told her. "I'm going to put you on the phone with a neighbor, to see if I can help at all."

He handed the phone to their elderly neighbor Arianna, hurrying up to the paramedics climbing out of the ambulance with a stretcher. He quickly repeated what he knew to them.

"I'm Fredward Benson, an ER doctor at Seattle Memorial," he told them when they asked. "My daughter is Sarah Benson."

"Alright, Dr. Benson. I think we need to see what's happening with the victim before we take any further steps. Could you tell everyone to go in? It'd be easier to work if we can just be dealing with the victim."

"Sadie won't go in without me. She's worried sick," Freddie said.

"Sadie?" one of them asked.

"Sarah," he explained. "Sadie's a nickname. She's gone by it her whole life."

"Okay, but only because she's your daughter. And she witnessed the accident. We may need her help."

"We got to the victim!" A paramedic called. "Brunette female; looks to be about 40. She's unconscious, bleeding from the mouth and nose, and I'd bet she's broken both legs and right arm. She's still breathing though, barely. We need a stretcher, now!"

Freddie watched anxiously with his daughter as a limp, lifeless-looking body was pulled from the car and put on a stretcher. He hurried up, wondering if he could help at all. And, even covered with blood and with her hair dyed brown, the face was unmistakable. It was Sam.

_A/N: So I hurt my wrist pretty badly, and although I'm going to the doctor tomorrow, typing more than this Author's Note hurts my wrist... But anyways, yes I'm an idiot for having three stories going on at once, but this was in my Document Manager thing and I'm going off to camp in 5 days anyways so it'd expire while I'm at camp, so I posted it... I've got the second chapter written out, so I might post it before Sunday, but I like to have the next chapter written before posting the current one... That was my plan for juggling all the stories..._

_Also, if you haven't heard Demi Lovato's new song "Skyscraper", you should go listen to it :) It's a very inspiring song that is about someone overcoming a tough time, at least in my view. And even if you aren't going through a rough time, it's a truly amazing song that I think is inspiring to anybody... Oh I can't explain it, just go listen :)_

_And Harry Potter! Tomorrow (or tonight...)! Agjariuefjsk I can't wait! I'm going to the premiere with my friend Elyssa, except I'm not sure who I should dress up as... Lily Luna Potter, Lily Evans, or Ginny? And do you know any Harry Potter Gryffindor girls who ever injured their wrist? :P_

_But yeah, so please review if you've got a moment, even if it's a flame review! I love any constructive criticism! Sorry about the uber-long author's note... __And I guess I'll see you guys in a month! Bye f__or now :)_


	2. Chapter 1: Carly

_(A/N: Hi! I'm back! So, long story short, I had to be taken off of trail at camp cause of an accident and got sent home early. So here I am! On the bright side, I did finally get my second ear piercing and got into Pottermore early :) But anyways, I really miss camp and life's been kind of crazy since I got back, and so I'm not sure if I'm ready to start writing regularly again yet, but I did write this chapter, so read and tell me what you think!)_

_Disclaimer: You're actually lucky this time that I don't own iCarly, because there'd be a problem with production right now and it would be paused right now if I did... So go Dan Schneider!_

They say that if you love someone, set them free, and they'll come back to you. I guess, in a way, Sam did. That's what I was thinking, sitting in the goddamn hospital lobby with Sadie waiting for news.

"Who was that lady?" Sadie asked with a slight whine in her voice. "People get hit by drunk drivers all the time. Why must we wait here at three in the morning on a school night to find out how soon she's going to get better, Dad?"

I bit my tongue, barely holding back a 'Because that's your mother in there'. That would only upset Sadie, and once Sam was up and everything, she might run again. And I wasn't going to let Sadie get attached. "I knew her, a while ago," I told Sadie quietly. "She was a good friend of mine, and I'll be damned if I'm going to go home and sleep without waiting for news of when she'll wake up. **If **she'll wake up."

"If…" Sadie repeated. "What do you mean, if? Dad!"

I sighed. Sadie was so much like her mother in that way. She wouldn't stop until she got an answer out of me. "They're not really sure how much brain damage there was, Sadie. She's in surgery now, but they really won't know until she wakes up."

"But isn't she, like, not going to wake up for a while if she's in surgery, Dad?"

Yeah. Sadie was good at arguing, too. And exactly like Sam, she **always** won. "Fine, Sadie. You can go home," I told her. She reached for my keys, but I pulled them out of her reach. "Yeah, I'll be double damned if I'm going to let my sixteen year-old daughter drive home alone at three in the morning. I'll take you, and then come back." She rolled her eyes with a huff, but didn't argue. "Meet me in the car, okay?"

She stormed off to wait for me, the beautiful blue eyes that she got from Sam flaming. I smiled wistfully, walking up to the receptionist. "Could you call me if the patient in Room 239 wakes up before I return?" I asked the young woman, writing my number on a post-it note.

"I'm sorry, sir," she replied, pushing the post-it back to me. "I can't release any information unless you're family. You certainly don't look like family. Sorry." Just for the record, she didn't sound very sorry…

"I'm family." I told her quickly.

"Oh really?" she asked.

"Yes." I responded. She narrowed her eyes.

"We don't even know the identification of the patient. How the hell can you claim to be family to an unknown patient?" she inquired.

I glared at her. God, I hated this receptionist. She must be new, because clearly she didn't know who I was. No idiot receptionist that had been at Seattle Memorial for longer than a week would dare challenge a doctor. We know what we're doing.

"Look her up under Samantha Puckett Benson," I said with a smirk. "Then call the next-of-kin number. I'll be waiting."

I smiled, walking off to join my impatient daughter. She fumbled to find the records as her eyes burned a hole in my back.

"Dad?" Sadie asked when I reached her. She'd been waiting at the door. "Why was the lady glaring at you?"

"Never say I didn't learn anything from your mother, Sadie." I told her with a grin. She glanced at me questioningly, but said nothing as we rode back to our house.

I returned to the hospital the next morning to find a very annoyed receptionist.

"Damn doctor," she muttered. "They all have to be such smartasses, don't they?"

I smiled as I walked by her, flashing my badge. Technically, even though I was going to visit Sam, I didn't have to stop and get a pass. She had to let me by.

"Yes, yes we do," I replied with another smirk. "So, little Miss I-know-it-all receptionist, did ya find my wife's records, then?"

"Yeah," she mumbled.

"Then why didn't I receive a call?" I asked. "You could get fired for not notifying family of a patient's accident and current state."

"But you already knew, for Pete's sake!" she protested. "You're a freaking doctor here!"

"It's still protocol to inform the family of the situation," I replied. "I'm putting a warning in to your supervisor."

She glared at me. "You're a doctor, not God. Like you could get me fired," she scoffed.

"I could indeed," I responded with a grin. "But for now, I have to go tend to my wife, whose state I do not know because the bastard they hired as a receptionist here didn't call to tell me. If I wasn't a doctor and wasn't at the scene last night, she could be dead now, because they wouldn't be able to operate or anything without the next-of-kin's consent."

She scoffed again. "But you were. So stop being a bitch and go see your wife."

"I'm getting there. And by the way, know-it-all new girl, what's your name?"

"Rachel," she told me. "Rachel Barrett. And you are?"

"You know who I am," I replied. "You've got the records, Rach."

"Don't call me that," she snapped. "My name is Rachel! Now byebye, Freddie! I have to get to work!"

"Dr. Benson to you," I called, walking into Sam's room. I smiled a bit as I heard her exclaim in annoyance at me. God, it is fun to mess with the new interns… Sam really has rubbed off on me…

Sam was lying unconscious on the bed when I walked in. I had so many questions for her. Like why on Earth was her beautiful blonde hair the color of Carly's? Why did she run in the first place? And what was she doing back in Seattle? The biggest one, though, was this: is she going to stay this time?

I sat there for a while, watching her bandaged chest rise and fall. I wondered if she'd moved on; how many other men had touched that chest since I had fifteen years ago. Fifteen years. Might as well have been a lifetime as far as I was concerned. I wondered if it would turn into a lifetime, once she got out of this hospital and was all set to go again.

"Hi Sam," I said nervously, sitting down in a chair next to her bed. "How are you?" I mentally slapped myself for being so stupid. "Well, you know, aside from the broken ribs, concussion, broken wrist, and coma. How's life been?" I paused for a moment. "You know, Sam, it's a lot easier to have a conversation with somebody when that person actually responds. I'd really appreciate it if you'd wake up and talk to me." Nothing. I smiled, knowing Sam would kill me for what I was about to do next. I brushed her hair away from her face, leaning down close to her.

"So, Sammy," I whispered in my wife's ear. "Going to be difficult, are we?" I kissed her lips softly, lingering for a moment on all the memories kissing Sam brought back. "You always did love that Sleeping Beauty story, no matter what you led people to think. I remember how you read it to Sadie every night, before you left. She'd gurgle every time you read the happy ending, even not knowing what on Earth was going on, but loving the sound of her mother's voice. A lot's changed since then, you know." I sighed, realizing that it would only help to get things off my chest before Sam was awake to kill me afterwards.

"What happened, Sam? I miss you. Sadie misses you. She's needed a mother so much her whole life; but you weren't there for her like you should've been. You could've been. Did you know that she cried for a week after her best friend Cami's mom died from breast cancer? She didn't cry because Cami's mom had practically mothered her too, in your absence, of course, but she was crying because she wanted to know what was so wrong with her that you didn't want her. I was going to have you declared dead in absentia, Sam. Carly barely convinced me that there was still hope! Where were you?" I finished, sitting back up. I looked at the shell of a woman that had housed my wife. Who lived in there now? "And why are you back?" I whispered, half to myself rather than Sam.

A tall brunette woman strolled in holding Sam's file, deep in thought as she stared at it. I recognized her as a resident I had met three years ago. She'd recently transferred to ICU, having wanted to deal with patients after they'd been cleaned up a bit by the ER doctors. She looked up at Sam; then noticed me sitting by the bed, clutching Sam's frail hand. Her eyebrow's shot up through her thick bangs.

"Dr. Benson," she said warmly, walking over to the bed. "I saw Samantha's last name was Benson on the file, but I had no idea…"

"It's alright Olivia," I replied. "And her name is Sam. Call her Sam."

"I had no idea that you were even married!" she rambled on. "I mean, I knew about Sadie of course, but I wasn't going to press on what was up with her mother, since you never mentioned a wife or anything!"

"Olivia!" I said loudly. Liv was known to ramble endlessly unless you stopped her. She jumped back a little bit, looking like a wounded puppy. "It's fine. Sam and I haven't been in touch for fifteen years. It's a long story. So how is she?"

She kicked into doctor mode. "Well, you must already know about the broken ribs, fractured wrist, and wounds on her face. Those are easily fixed as long as no complications arise. However, the coma and head trauma are a bigger concern," she began. "She's currently stable, but she's scoring a 3 on the Glasgow Coma Scale. There's no guarantee as to when she'll wake up."

"She can hear me though?" I asked. She nodded. I opened my mouth to keep talking to Sam, but a very disheveled Carly burst into the room at that moment.

"Where is she?" Carly shrieked. "When she didn't show up last night, I assumed the worst and called the hospital but they couldn't tell me anything so I called Sadie this morning and she told me that Freddie was at the hospital with an old friend and when I got here the receptionist took one look and me and sighed and said 'The cocky doctor went that way.' And of course she meant you Freddie, because with Sam's influence, who else could it be, and what the hell happened to Sam?"

"Whoa, Carls, slow down!" I responded, leading her over to sit down on the couch in Sam's room. "Sam was in a car accident last night in front of my house. A drunk driver hit her. She'll be fine, once she wakes up from the coma."

"Coma?" Carly screamed.

"It'll be fine," I told her.

"Who is she?" asked Olivia, confused.

"My best friend," I said. "Sam's, too." Then I realized something. I went back over Carly's long speech, and sure enough, it was there. "Carly… What did you mean by 'when she didn't show up last night'?" I asked her.

"Oh!" Carly squeaked. She gave a nervous laugh. "That… That didn't mean anything. I mean, I just had this gut feeling that something was wrong…" She tried to cover, but Carly was such a bad liar, especially when it came to Sam and me. And of course, being married to an expert liar helped a bit in being able to recognize lies.

"Did you stay in touch with her?" I asked Carly, shocked. I almost didn't want to know the answer. She sighed.

"Sort of," she tried to explain. "She'd shoot me an e-mail every once in a while, telling me that she had decided to come back to Seattle for a little bit and that she wanted to come see me. I just told her to stay with me, of course, and every time I'd tell her to go see you but she'd flat out refuse each time, saying that doing so would complicate things, and so I didn't pressure her. It was nice, knowing that she was alive and okay and I didn't want her to run off again."

"Oh, thanks for sharing the relief with me!" I said sarcastically, walking towards the door. I turned to Olivia. "Beep me if anything happens. I'm going for a walk."

"Freddie-," Carly began.

"Save it, Shay," I interrupted. I looked at her, hurt. "You knew that Sam was okay, and alive, and doing fine; but you let me worry about her for fifteen years, wondering if I would ever see her again. I was going to legally declare her dead in absentia! If I had, would you have told me then?"

Carly shook her head. "I'd have told the court and filed an anonymous declaration telling them of my contact with Sam, since it's my duty to do so, but they just would've told you that the petition didn't go through. It was for the best, Freddie. She wanted you to just move on and be happy," she tried to justify.

"Yeah, well, would you look how that turned out," I said, gesturing towards Sam's still figure on the bed. Just then, she rustled a bit. My eyes widened as I rushed back over to the bed. What was happening? People didn't just wake up from comas like that! Was she okay? My head was reeling.

She opened her blue eyes, glancing up at me.

"Freddie?" she asked, sounding a bit confused and scared. I nodded. "Oh, fuck."

_(A/N: Excuse Sam's language at the end there :P So, I really don't want to be a review-beggar or anything, but there's a pretty big thing about Sadie to be revealed soon in the story, and I'm considering giving the option of a spoiler to one lucky reviewer, so maybe you'll be it! Oh, and I really really adore reviews with real critique **wink wink nudge nudge **:P Anyways, I'm going to try to start writing again, but like I said before, I have a lot going on in my life right now so it might take a little bit :( Thanks for being patient in advance if it does take a while :) But please review if you have a moment, and thanks for reading!)_


	3. Chapter 2

_(A/N: Okay, so this kinda ruins what I said last chapter about the spoiler, but I was really eager to write this chapter so I stayed up late last night so I could post it :P Hope you enjoy!)_

_Disclaimer: Same as last chapter... You're lucky we've got Dan Schneider..._

"Samantha?" Olivia asked gingerly. Sam kicked into panic mode, struggling to sit up.

"Who are you, lady? And how do you know my name?"

"Your husband, Freddie, was at the scene of the accident last night. He recognized you. Do you remember what happened with the accident?" Olivia continued, running basic tests on her to assess mental function.

"He's not my husband," Sam replied quickly.

"Oh really?" I asked. "Funny, last time I checked I hadn't gotten any divorce papers? Or did I just not hear about them? Just like I didn't hear about your coming back to Seattle to see Carly, but not your husband and _daughter_?"

Sam glared at me. God, how I'd missed that glare. "Don't you dare play the bad mother card on me!" she hissed. "You have no idea what's been going on in my life for the past 15 years!"

"You're right," I admitted. "I don't. But Carly here sure seems to know a bunch!"

"Freddie, Sam, you've just been happily reunited! Must you two fight now of all times?" Carly tried feebly.

"Yes!" Sam and I shouted at her in unison. She shrank back.

"I'll be in the chair in the corner if you need me," she managed to squeak out.

"Can you tell me your full name?" Olivia continued, a bit oblivious. "Your birthday, any living family members, your current residence?"

"My birthday's April 17th, living relatives Melanie Puckett and Sadie Benson, current residence is Bar Harbor, Maine, and my full name is Samantha Joy Puckett," Sam told her impatiently.

"Whoa, slow down, Sam!" I objected. "_Bar Harbor, Maine_? Samantha _Puckett_?"

"Yeah," she replied indifferently.

"But-," I stuttered. She couldn't be serious.

"I'm just trying to make this easier on you, nub," Sam said quietly.

"Yeah, well, life never seems to be easy on the two of us, does it now?" I asked sourly. Turning to Olivia, I asked, "Can I take her home? She needs some sort of professional care while she gets better anyways, and this will give her a chance to get to know Sadie better, and for us to catch up as a family."

Olivia nodded. "Just let me run a few more tests and grab the discharge papers. In the meantime, you may want to grab her some clothes from home. Everything in the accident was pretty trashed."

"Sure," I replied, smiling at Sam and Carly. "These two probably need to catch up anyways." I walked out into the hall, but Olivia followed me all the way out to the lobby.

"Dr. Benson?" she called as I was leaving. "I didn't want to upset Sam, but she was wearing this ring at the time of the accident. We were able to recover this, as well as a few items in a suitcase in the trunk. You can pick those up at the police station."

She handed me a silver ring with a white diamond surrounded by little purple ones, welded to another silver ring encrusted with alternating purple and white diamonds. I smiled. It was Sam's wedding ring.

I smiled widely as I clutched Sam's ring, going into the station. All these years, and she hadn't gotten rid of it? "She kept it," I said to myself, grinning. "She kept it!"

The officers looked like they were in a heated discussion as I walked up, but the second I opened the door, they were instantly silenced.

"Is something wrong?" I asked them.

"No, it's just an armed robbery over by Seattle U last night," one of the older, nicer family guys, Liam Hansen, tried to cover. He'd been thirty when Sam had left, and he and his wife Debby had been glad to help me out with one year-old Sadie. I glared at Liam. "Alright, fine. The younger guys were betting on how long Sam would stay this time, and Ty and I were trying to calm them down."

Ty, a kind man with a sixteen year-old daughter Cara who was one of Sadie's best friends, smiled sadly at me. We'd known each other well since before Sam and I got married. His wife, an old friend of ours named Wendy, had been ecstatic when she'd found out that she and Sam were going to be having babies at the same time. Wendy had passed away two years ago, which had been very hard on Ty and Cara, but I'd been trying to be supportive for them just like Ty and Liam had been for me thirteen years prior.

"Did you come by to get Sam's stuff?" Ty asked. I nodded. Liam pulled a suitcase out from behind the counter. "This is it. We looked through it trying to get some ID on her before we were told that you'd already identified her. All that's in there is a few clothes, a necklace, some pictures, a watch, and a little Teddy bear."

My eyebrows shot up to my hairline. Necklace… I had given Sam a teardrop necklace senior year on our first anniversary. She'd always kept it in a small silver box with a watch her grandfather left her in her nightstand. When she'd disappeared, so had that box. And the teddy bear, could that be the one that Sadie had lost when she was ten months old, the one that had been mine when I was little? Had she planned the whole thing months before? Had she ever even planned to stay until her daughter was one?

I opened the suitcase gingerly. The stuff lay on top of the clothes in a jumbled mess. Just like Sam to not organize her suitcase one bit before flying cross-country. I chuckled, picking up my old teddy bear. And the necklace and the watch, they were both there. As was our wedding picture, a picture of us at a Gala a month before Sadie was born, a picture of us at the hospital, one of Melanie holding Sadie, and Carly holding Sadie, ones from Sadie's first birthday, and there were quite a few from the iCarly days. She'd kept all of them. I sighed. I needed some straight answers from Sam. Where on Earth did this leave us?

The trip back from the hospital was done in silence as Sam clutched the suitcase. I think she knew that I looked in it, but was trying to pretend like that didn't change anything. Of course, there were quite a few things I was keeping from her, but I was just trying to figure out how to tell her! I mean, they aren't the kind of things that you can just blurt out to somebody!

We pulled into the driveway, and Sam looked around.

"Wow," she observed. "You guys didn't change much about the house."

I shrugged. "Didn't want to," I replied. I guess she wanted more, because she threw me a questioning look, but she didn't say anything else as I climbed out of the car to grab her wheelchair. Thank goodness our house was already wheel-chair friendly from when my mom lived here for a short time before she died when Sadie was ten. Needless to say, Sadie didn't cry _that _much at Grammy Benson's funeral.

I wheeled her up the pathway, pulling out my key. Of course, being the annoyingly impatient person Sam is, she reached out and rang the doorbell before I got it unlocked.

"Don't do that!" I hissed. "Sadie's home! Do you want that kind of confrontation yet?"

I pushed the door open as she rolled her eyes.

"Hey, you guys did get a new doorbell!" she said brightly.

"Yeah…" I replied absentmindedly. How was I going to tell her?

Just our luck, Sadie bounced down the stairs as I wheeled Sam into the family room. She took one look at Sam and glared at me.

"Who is she?" Sadie asked coolly. Oops. Sam stared at Sadie's hands.

"Um…" I didn't know where to begin. "Sam, this is Sadie. Well, you know that. Sadie, this is… your mother."

"My mother?" Sadie repeated.

"What's she doing with her hands?" Sam cut in.

"She doesn't know?" Sadie asked me, incredulous. "What, are you ashamed of me? And how could my mom not know something like that?"

"She left when you were one, Sadie," I reminded her.

Sam's head bobbed back and forth between Sadie's and my hands. We'd stopped speaking aloud, so she had no idea what was going on. And Sam hates being out of the loop.

"Is she staying this time?" Sadie asked, a sarcastic look on her face. "Or is she going to up and leave again?"

"Don't speak about her like that. She's still your mother, Sadie," I scolded her.

"She sure hasn't been around to be my mom," she retorted. We both glanced at the helplessly lost woman, sitting staring at her hands as she tried to mimic our motions.

"Look, be pleasant, please," I asked her.

"Oh, why would I not be pleasant to the woman that abandoned me?"

"Just be nice."

"Or what?" she taunted. God, she was way more like Sam than she thought.

"Oh my god!" Sam shrieked. We watched as she looked up from her hands, brain churning as the pieces clicked together in her mind. Her eyes rose to Sadie's ears; then looked around the house. She zeroed in on the phone with a big screen and light on it; then on the light above the doorway. It wasn't currently flashing, but Sam wasn't stupid. She could put the pieces together. Her blue eyes, filled with hurt, returned to my hands that hung frozen in front of me. She looked up into my eyes.

"I'm sorry Sam-," I began, trying to explain.

"Freddie, when the hell were you planning to tell me that our daughter is deaf?" she asked angrily.

_(A/N: Heehee :P I don't know why, but I felt like keeping that info secret until Sam found out... Was that a good idea, or does that just make it seem odd? I'm learning ASL right now myself :) I was very excited to write this chapter, and it's actually helped me figure out where the story should go from here, so that's good :) __Anyways, tell me what you think! I hope you liked it!)_


	4. Chapter 3

_(A/N: I know, it's short! I'm really really sorry, swamped with schoolwork right now but I wanted to post this :) I'm not very proud of it, it's kind of a filler chapter, but hope you like! Please review with constructive criticism, I love reviews that say more than 'I loved it'! Even if it's why you hated it :P Thanks, love you guys!)_

Eight minutes and a humongous ham later, Sam and I sat at the kitchen table in silence. Sadie had stomped up the stairs, slamming the door right after Sam's realization.

"I can't believe it," Sam admitted. "How can she be deaf? She always had the most beautiful voice as a little girl, remember?"

"She still has it," I replied, smiling. "She can still sing some of the songs she remembers from when she was younger. She makes up tunes for the ones she doesn't, and she writes incredible songs herself. She's amazing."

"Yeah…" she replied. "I wish I'd been here. You did a wonderful job, Freddie. For a nub."

"I see you've still got it, Puckett," I told her, inching closer. I grabbed her sides as she erupted in giggles. "However, you're still as ticklish as ever!"

Then I paused. "Wait, Sam, how did you know about Sadie's voice?" I asked cautiously.

She blushed a bit, looking down. "I- I used to go to her performances. I always found a way to make it out here for them, except for one that Carls videotaped for me. I didn't even think about it when Carly stopped telling me about them when Sadie was ten."

"Yeah, well, Carly lied to both of us," I scoffed. "But seriously Sam, what have you been doing? All these years, where were you? I mean, do you have a guy out there in Bar Harbor? A new family? A job? What did you become?"

She shrugged. "No guy, no family. I got a job, though, of course. I work at a restaurant," she told me. "The salary's not the best, but Ruth lets me live in the apartment over the restaurant and I get food for free, so it's a pretty good deal."

"So it is," I agreed awkwardly.

She smiled weakly, looking at me with those awful blue eyes I'd watched Sadie grow up with. "Freddie, what happened? Why is Sadie deaf?"

"She had a really bad inner ear infection when she was ten. It's all better now, obviously, but there was nothing that could be done to save her hearing. I'm glad she's deaf, though," I replied.

"What? Why?" Sam shrieked. "She's our daughter! Don't you want what's best for her?"

"Of course I do," I told her calmly. "But both of us are happy the way we are, Sam. She remembers hearing, so yes, she does feel like she's lost something, but she's alright with that. This is the way our lives went, and Sadie accepts that."

"She's lost her hearing, Freddie. She can't hear music, or birds, or even you calling her up the stairs," Sam replied, fire in her blue eyes. "And you didn't even try to do anything?"

"I did!" I protested. "That's not fair. There isn't much they could do. I've been trying for six years, Sam. Where the hell have you been?"

She stared at me, then turned her wheelchair around, wheeling out of the room silently.

The next morning, Sadie stomped down the stairs late, grabbing a banana.

"I'll be in the car," she signed silently, glaring at Sam. Sam frowned, looking down at her bacon.

"Sarah Skye Benson," I replied back in a rough tone, my hands still. Sadie looked at me.

"I speak my own language in my home," she said simply. "She can learn it. I'm not changing my ways just for her."

"You may be deaf, and I know this is difficult, but Sadie, you can't shut her out." I told her, looking over at Sam, who was pretending to be engrossed in arranging her bacon and eggs. "She's your mother, and people make mistakes. She's not deaf. Neither am I. I know sign because I learned it for you. She didn't get a chance to, and I _know_ this is not how I brought you up, Sadie."

"Hi, Sadie?" Sam asked, speaking loudly and slowly.

"Speak normally," Sadie interrupted. "I'm not dumb. Just deaf."

"Fine," Sam said in her normal, bored voice. "But just because I haven't been here doesn't mean you can be disrespectful, Sarah Benson. I am your mother, and you have no right to ignore me like that."

"Why not?" Sadie asked, signing along with her words. "You did for fifteen years!"

She stomped out as Sam slumped down in her chair.

"She hates me," Sam concluded. "My own fucking daughter hates me. And there's nothing I can do to change that! What am I supposed to do? I didn't mean to leave her for so long, to leave you for so long, I just… I was embarrassed to come back after a while."

"What happened, anyways?" I asked gently.

"None of your business, nub," she replied, and I watched as she threw her walls back up.

"Alright," I told her firmly. "It is too my business. But that doesn't matter. Right now, there's something more important."

"What?" she asked, confused.

"We're going to sort things out with our little secret-keeper over there. We're going to see Carly."

"Do we have to?" Sam whined, slouching down.

"Yes," I told her. "She's our best friend."

"She lied to both of us," Sam protested.

"True, but I'd like to find out why. Carly's not a selfish person," I pointed out. "Wait, does Carly know why you left?"

Sam nodded, looking anywhere but at me. "I told her before I left. I needed her help."

"You couldn't ask your own husband? That you have a goddamn kid with?" I asked angrily.

Sam shook her head. "I needed Carly," She said quietly, turning away and wheeling out to the car.

I stared after her. Fifteen years. That was a really long time to lose in a life. She wasn't the same person: that much was pretty obvious. She was quiet, so guarded. What happened to her?


	5. Chapter 4: Secrets, Secrets, Everywhere

"Sam! Freddie!" Carly exclaimed, opening the door. Her face softened. "Look, guys, I'm sorry for lying to both of you. It's a long and complicated story… I thought if I told Sam, she would've come back, and that would be awful for both of you. And if I told you, Freddie, you'd want to see her. She wasn't ready for that."

"Yeah, not so ready this time, either," Sam scoffed. She wheeled in, situating herself on the couch with a sigh. "So talk, Fredward. You wanted to come and find out why Carly lied. I already know. So go ahead, grill her on why I left. She's never going to tell you."

"Carly-," I began.

"I can't," she interrupted. "I know you think you deserve to know, but this is something I told Sam I'd keep secret, with good reason."

I sighed, sitting down next to Sam. "Why not?" I whispered in her ear. She frowned, jerking away when I brushed her hair back.

"Because," she answered stubbornly. "I can't, and I won't. No. No. And no."

"Sam…"Carly said with a sigh. Sam smirked. "Do I need to tell him?"

Sam's smile vanished. "It's okay if Sam doesn't want to tell me yet," I cut in, noticing the look on her face. "She's been through a lot."

"Thanks, Freddork," she said with relief. "But either way, I want to go home."

"Home?" Carly repeated incredulously. "You are home, Sam."

"Well I have a life in Bar Harbor, too," she retorted. "You of all people should know that, Carly Shay."

Carly sucked in her breath, grimacing. "Sam, you've got to tell him. He deserves to know, and he's going to learn sometime. You can't just leave Freddie and Sadie here again."

"I can do whatever the hell I want," she replied indignantly.

"What the hell is so bad that you couldn't tell me?" I asked, frowning. "We're married, Sammy. I thought you loved me."

Her face scrunched up. "I did. I mean, I do. It's just that things are so complicated right now," she said with a sigh.

"I know," I admitted. "I just don't get what could be so complicated."

Sam's eyes widened. "Oh my ham," Sam exclaimed. "I have to call Ruth."

"Ruth?" I asked.

"My landlady, boss, and best friend out in Maine," she explained. "Fredward, gimme your phone."

I sighed, handing it over. After all this time, she still had the manners of a two year-old.

.

The phone rang around noon on the third day I hadn't heard from Joy. I was in the kitchen, but it was a Seattle number. It had to be her.

"Hey, Joy! What happened?" I exclaimed, picking up the phone with relief.

"Hi Ruth," she greeted. "I kind of got into a car accident over here. I'm fine, but Freddie found me, as did Carls. So yeah. Is Maddie alright with you?"

I glanced over at Mads, who was doing the dishes, grumbling on about how I won't let her go out with some friends tonight.

"Well, she's ticked off because she's not allowed to go to midnight movie premieres on school nights, but otherwise, she'll be fine," I explained. Joy laughed drily.

"That's my girl, huh?" she asked. I laughed along with her, and Maddie shot me a dirty look. I grinned back.

"Yeah," I replied. Maddie turned back away from me, flipping her curls haughtily. That girl sure is spoiled. "So how are things with Sadie?"

"They're going okay," she said, a sad note in her voice. "She's mad that I left her for so long."

"Do they know about Maddie?" I asked her quietly.

"Nothing," she told me. "I don't know how I would even begin to explain it…"

"Samantha Joy Benson," I warned. "You have a responsibility to Freddie, Sadie, and Maddie to tell them. They deserve to know."

"Ruth Pond, I know that," she replied. "I'm just trying to figure out how. Give me some time, okay?"

.

"Who's Maddie?" I asked, frowning. She'd said that she didn't have a family or anything in Maine.

"Nobody," she snapped, turning around quickly. Sadie sighed, rolling her eyes.

"What did she say?" she signed.

"She said Maddie is nobody," I signed back. She scoffed.

"Sam…" Carly began. "Don't you think you should really tell him before he finds out on his own?"

She shook her head furiously.

"Samantha Joy Benson he is your husband and you will tell him who Madeleine is right this instant or I will!" Carly shouted, seething. "He has a right to know." She continued quietly.

"You don't know that," Sam tried to argue.

Carly sat down on the couch next to Sam. "Yes. I do. None of this is your fault." She whispered. "It's not. I know you think it is, but it's not."

"I didn't have to leave," she protested.

I looked back and forth between the two, completely confused. Glancing over at Sadie, I saw that she had picked up one of Carly's magazines and was ignoring the conversation going on between the two of them. Although then again, she is Sam's daughter. It would be just like Sam to try and tune out the world when she didn't really know or care about what was being discussed.

"Yeah, you did," Carly told her. "At the time, you needed that to be able to move past everything. So please, you've moved past it. And to be quite honest, I don't think what you think happened is likely. So why not just tell him and be able to move on as a family?"

I looked up at Carly, signing that maybe she should leave the two of us alone. To my surprise, she grabbed her car keys.

"I'm taking Sadie shopping," she announced, grabbing the protesting teen.

After they pulled out of the driveway, I sat down next to Sam slowly.

"Sammie?" I asked her. She looked up at me, her blue eyes weary and wet. "Why is it so bad that you can't tell me? I love you. No matter what happens, I will always love you. The fact that you're Sam Benson is proof of that. I promise I won't be mad. Just please, baby, tell me."

She shook her head, biting her lip. "That's what makes it worst. I know that. I know you'll always love me, but I just don't deserve it and I know that too. And you shouldn't love me because if you keep loving me, I'll just hurt you."

"I've loved you all these years and I'm still fine," I pointed out, taking her hand gingerly. She yanked it back.

"I cheated, okay?" she blurted out.

**A/N: Hehehe I feel evil for ending the chapter like that. Oh well. Oh yeah, and I don't own iCarly. In case you didn't already know. But yeah. Anyways... Please review! I love you guys and reviews are what make me write more, especially when they critique my writing and tell me who people think is OOC (keep in mind this is a future fic though), what they like, what they don't like, even if you say you HATED it and tell me why! Thanks so much! Hope you liked it! :)**


	6. Chapter 5: iExplain

My head snapped up. She cheated. Sam cheated on me. Oh my god. My thoughts were racing as I shut my eyes, trying to figure out what the hell was going on.

"I didn't mean to," she continued. "I didn't even want to for God's sake but then I felt so guilty and I just couldn't handle it."

"You cheated on me," I repeated. She nodded, looking extremely guilty. "And then you left me. Without an explanation."

"I didn't want to. I was walking to the car from work and _he _showed up and I'm so sorry Freddie," she rambled.

"I think I need to think a little bit," I told her quietly. "I'm calling Carly."

She nodded, wheeling herself out of the room slowly.

"She told me," I greeted Carly sadly when she walked back in, having dropped Sadie at Cara's. "I just can't believe it's true, Carls, oh my god."

She nodded, placing a hand on my back. "I know. She's Sam. You'd think that kind of thing... Well, it's just not Sam," she said with a frown. "But you need to support her through this. She's still really hurting from this, Freddie. She left you because she was terrified by it."

I scoffed. "Support her?" I said with a dry laugh. "Carly, why on Earth should I even stay with her after this?"

"It's not her fault," Carly told me with a scolding look. "It's not like she wanted to in the least bit!"

"Well then why on Earth would she do it?" I asked her, still shocked. "She _cheated_ on me, Carly. I love her, but I'm not sure if I can forgive her for that."

Carly stepped back. "It was beyond her control, Fredward Benson. She couldn't just get up and walk out. She fought, Freddie. And then with Maddie and all of that, she was terrified you would react just how you are now. Freddie Benson, I am ashamed of you!"

"Wait," I said slowly. "Who the hell is Maddie?"

Carly sighed. "Alright, how much did Sam tell you?"

"She just admitted to cheating on me and then being too scared to tell me." I replied.

Carly shook her head furiously. "No. You know Sam would never ever cheat on you, Freddie. She was _raped_. She never wanted to, she was sobbing when she came to me after talking about how you would leave her because she was an awful person for it. She even refused to go to the hospital because it was your shift and she didn't want to have to face you looking like she did."

"Oh," I squeaked. "Oh my god. Sam."

Carly nodded. "Yeah."

"Well then… Who's Maddie?" I asked, still confused.

She opened her mouth, then closed it again. "I think Sam needs to tell you about Maddie."

"Carly, cut the crap. Who is this Maddie?" I demanded. She shrugged.

"Ugh, fine," she said with a sigh. She went into the kitchen where Sam had disappeared before. I smiled when I heard Sam's protests as she was wheeled in and transferred to the couch.

"Maddie's kind of sort of," she mumbled the last bit. I glared at her. "Fine. Maddie is my daughter, goddamnit Fredward. And maybe she's yours too, I don't know. I never wanted to have to find out."

"Oh my god. I may have another kid. Holy shit, Sam," I screamed. "That isn't the type of thing you keep from your husband, of all people. So let's recap, you have a fucking _daughter_ in Bar Harbor?"

"Yeah," she admitted, looking down. "I've always thought of her as your daughter, too. I'm not quite sure. A month after I left, I was pregnant and scared and I had no idea if it was _his_ or yours and I just freaked out. I would have come back, but I didn't know how to explain, Freddie."

"I have to meet her. I have to meet Maddie," I told her. "We can go there, or she can come home here-."

"Hold on," Sam interrupted. "She's got a life there. Friends, school. Freddie, that's the problem. I have a life there too. I can't really pick up and move back here."

"Do you want to?" I asked her quietly. "Because it's been fifteen years. And by some miracle, you're here again and I know I want to make this work. We can start again. You, me, Maddie, and Sadie. A pretty screwed up mutant one, but we can be a family."

"What about Sadie?" she asked. "She's so angry at me. I'm her mom. I was supposed to be there and I left her. I don't even know her favorite color, or how to speak her language, which guy she's dating; I don't know the first thing about her."

"Does Maddie know the story?" I inquired. She nodded. "Everything?"

"She probably knows you better than I do by now," she said drily. "As far as everything is concerned, you're her dad. I don't care if it's not biological."

"Sam," I said, getting down on one knee. "Sixteen years ago I told you I would love you til death do us part. I fully intend on keeping that promise, even if it means picking up both our lives and moving. I think that's probably the best solution. Neither girl has home turf. We can both move to a new apartment. Three bedrooms, because the girls should share a room but I'm not gonna force that kind of commitment on you at all. Let's do this, Sammy. You and me. Hell, let's move back to the fucking Bushwell."

She closed her eyes, mulling it over. "Okay," she agreed. "The four of us, back in the Bushwell. I'll fly Maddie out here. Ruth can keep our apartment for us. I want to be able to go back if this doesn't work."

"We're gonna make it work, Sam," I reassured her. She grinned.

"Let's move in together, then, Frednerd," she joked. "Lemme just go call Maddie. She's always wanted to meet you, you know."

"Who's Maddie?" Sadie asked from the doorway, having watched Sam.

"She's your sister," I signed, speaking along with my hands. "She's been living with Sam for her whole life, but now we're all gonna move in together. Sadie, we are going back to the Bushwell. That's where Mom and I met."

"She's not my mom," Sadie signed silently, but she smiled all the same.

_A/N: Hey, so I'm not too good at updating, I think I've proved. I hope everyone has had an amazing summer, and please try to leave a constructive review if you have a moment? It helps me write faster :D _


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